Aurat aur sharab ka mila-jula nasha aaisa nasha hai ki ... bade bade sultan barbad ho gaye

The combined intoxication of women and alcohol is such that ... even the best of the best rulers have got ruined

Abe chai mangi thi, parliament se ayegi kya?

I had asked for tea, is it coming from the parliament or what?

Koi mai ka laal kisi ko do waqt ki roti nahi dila sakta ... kyun ki roti dilane waala woh malik hai ... jisne har insaan ko do haath diye hai aur kaha hai ki ... cheer de zameen ka seena aur nikaal le apne hisse ki roti

No one person can provide two meals a day to another person ... because food is provided by God ... who has given everyone two hands and said that ... tear apart the body of the earth and remove the food of your share

Na saboot dhoondta hoon, na gawah dhoondta hoon ... mujrim nazar aa jaye toh chane ki tarah bhoonta hoon

I don't search for evidence, neither do I search for a witness ... if I see a criminal, then I crush him like peanuts

Agar tujh mein dum hai saaki toh Qutub Minar ko hilake dikha ... agar dum nahi hai toh mere naal beht, do goont maar ... aur Qutub Minar ko hilta dekh

My friend if you think you have the power to shake the Qutub Minar then show me ... and if you don't have the power then sit with me, take a couple of sips ... and you'll see the Qutub Minar shaking

Chai se zyada saala kitli garam hai

The kettle is hotter than the tea

Hing ki baas aur prem ka vaas ... chupaye nahi chupta

The smell of Asafetida and the desire in love ... cannot be hidden

Mithai ki dukaan mein mirchi hai ... aai shapat kai tari gochi hai

There is spice in a sweet shop ... I swear on my mom, something is strange

Is saal tu paas ho gaya na ... toh main tujhe Cadabury doongi, woh bhi milak ki

If you pass this year ... then I will you a Cadbury (chocolate), and that to a milk one

Dosti joh hai na, bahut pavitra hai ... isko dosti hi rehne de ... iske upar pet, paisa, roti iski parchai na padne de

Friendship is very holy ... let it be friendship only ... don't allow the shadow of stomach, money, food to fall on it

Haldi bahut hi kaam ki cheez hoti hai beta ... doodh mein milakar pee jao, toh shareer ka poora dard khatam ho jata hai ... aur chune mein milakar zakhm pe lagao, ghav bhar jata hai

Son turmeric is a very useful thing ... if you mix it in milk and drink, then all the body pain goes away ... if you mix it with lime and apply on a wound, then the injury gets better

Aaise mat dekho ... lagta hai marinated murghi ko tandoor dekh raha hai

Don't look at me like this ... it feels like the oven is staring at the marinated chicken

Aao Vijay, baitho aur hamare saath ek scotch piyo ... hum tumhe kha tohdi jaayenge ... vaise bhi hum vegetarian hai

Come Vijay, sit and have a scotch with me ... I won't eat you ... by the way I am a vegetarian

Radhe jaane ke liye nahi, bhejne ke liye aaya hai ... aur tere hisse ki biryani hum sab mil-baant kar khayenge ... aur bolenge Eid Mubarak

Radhe hasn't come to leave, he's come to send people ... and we all will eat the biryani of your share ... and we'll say have a blessed Eid

Bhoot hai toh bhootni hai ... sambhar hai toh chutney hai ... zyada phailoge toh pant phatni hai

If there's a ghost then there's a witch ... if there's lentil soup then there's chutney ... if you spread a lot then your pant will tear apart

Tum jaise talented bache hote hai na woh sode mein is bubbles ki tarah hote hai ... ek ke baad ek woh aise hi upar aate hai ... apne aap ... unhe koi nahi rok sakta

Talented kids like you are like bubbles in soda ... they come up one after another ... by themselves ... no one can stop them

Shudh shakahari, dal bhaat tarkaari ... sab maal sarkari

It's pure vegeterian, lentil soup and rice ... and it everything belongs to the government

Bottle aur aadmi ka rishta pehda hone se lekar marne ke baad tak ka rehta hai ... pehda hone pe kaunsi bottle milti hai ... doodh ki ... uske baad school mein kaunsi bottle milti hai ... water bottle ... phir jawani mein beer bottle ... shaadi ke baad whiskey ki bottle ... aur marne ke baad gangajal ki bottle

The relationship of a bottle and a man exists from birth and lasts even beyond his death ... which bottle does he get when he is born ... milk bottle ... after that which bottle does he get in school ... water bottle ... then a beer bottle when he becomes young ... a whiskey bottle after he gets married ... and after death he gets the bottle of holy water

Saala jisne daru banaya hai uska putla banana chahiye

We should make a statue of the person who invented alcohol

Khichdi ke hai dost char ... dahi, papad, mirchi, aachar

Porridge has four friends ... curd, papadum, pepper, pickle