Daru badi kutti cheez hoti hai ... dosti mein pilao toh yaar deti hai ... dushmani mein pilao toh maar deti hai

Alcohol is a bloody thing ... if you drink in friendship then it gives a friend ... if you drink in animosity then it kills

Main madira nahi peeti ji

I don't drink alcohol

Tune Rambo ka naam suna hai? ... Terminator, Salman Bhai? ... in sabko na ek mixi mein daal, teen char baar ghuma ... aur joh glass bharke milkshake banta hai na ... woh hoon main

Have you heard about Rambo? ... Terminator, Salman Khan? ... put all of these in a mixer, spin it three or four times ... and the glass of milkshake that gets made ... that's me

Zindagi chahte ho toh humse bachkar rehna ... jahan nimbu nahi jaata wahan nariyal ghusad dete hai

If you want to live then stay away from me ... because I can push a coconut through a place from where even a lime won't pass through

Love vagehra ka khayali pulav maine taste karke pakakar chod diya hai

I have cooked, tasted and left alone the imaginary rice of love etc.

Girlfriend pehle pehle malai jaisi lagti hai ... phir dheere dheere cholesterol jaisa feel deti hai ... and finally seedhe heart attack

Initially the girlfriend looks like cream ... then slowly slowly gives the feel like cholesterol ... and finally direct heart attack

Khana khao, taqat aayega ... bahar jaake beizzati mat karana

Eat food, you will get strength ... don't humiliate us outside

Koi mai ka laal kisi ko do waqt ki roti nahi dila sakta ... kyun ki roti dilane waala woh malik hai ... jisne har insaan ko do haath diye hai aur kaha hai ki ... cheer de zameen ka seena aur nikaal le apne hisse ki roti

No one person can provide two meals a day to another person ... because food is provided by God ... who has given everyone two hands and said that ... tear apart the body of the earth and remove the food of your share

Aaj Sunday hai, toh daru peene ka din hai

Today is Sunday, so it is a day to drink alcohol

Dukh mein peeyo daru, sukh mein peeyo soup ... ameer aadmi ki party mein, gareeb aadmi chup

Drink alcohol when you're sad, drink soup when you're happy ... a poor man stays quiet in a rich man's party

Ladne se sirf dushman khatam hota hai ... aur pani pilane se dushmani

Fighting will only kill the enemy ... but by offering them water, it'll kill the enmity

Zara soongh ke batao Mantriji nashta mein ka khaye hai

Please smell and tell me what the Minister has had for breakfast

Dosti joh hai na, bahut pavitra hai ... isko dosti hi rehne de ... iske upar pet, paisa, roti iski parchai na padne de

Friendship is very holy ... let it be friendship only ... don't allow the shadow of stomach, money, food to fall on it

Jab ghee seedhi aur tedhi dono ungliyon se na nikle ... toh beech ka rasta apnana padta hai

When you can't remove clarified butter using both a straight and a crooked finger ... then you should adopt the middle solution

Maar do phek do ... biryani banake khalo

Kill him throw him ... turn him into biryani and eat him

Jab chehra tumhari tarah lamba aur patla hota hai na ... toh akhiyon se goli hi chalti hai ... hamare jalebi jaise chehre se sirf ghee hi tapakta hai yaar

When one has a long and slim face like you ... then the eyes fire bullets ... but from a round face like mine, only clarified butter can drip

Kabhi aapko waqt mile toh mere ghar aao na ... main aapko chawal doonga phir daal doonga ... dal maa ke haath ki dal

If you get time then please come to my house ... I'll give you rice and then I'll insert it ... I mean lentil cooked by my mom

Pehle daru peeta tha, maar peet karta tha ... toh Singham tha ... maine isse sab kuch chhudake chewing bana diya

First he used to drink alcohol, he used fight ... then he was Singham (lion) ... I made him leave all that and turned him into a chewing gum

Cheel ki chaunch mein angoor, khuda ki kudrat ... pehlu-e-hoor mein langoor, khuda ki kudrat

The presence of a grape in the beak of a vulture, is Gods act ... and a monkey inside a human, is also Gods act

Yeh roz subah jaldi uthte hai murge ki tarah ... phir aada adhoora khate hai kauve ki tarah ... phir breakfast karte hai bandar ki tarah ... phir office ko daudte hai ghode ki tarah ... phir kaam karte hai gadhe ki tarah ... phir ghar aakar daru peete hai machli ki tarah ... phir mujhpe bhaunkte hai kutte ki tarah ... phir khana khate hai magarmach ki tarah ... aur uske baad taange phaila ke soo jaate hai bhainso ki tarah ... dekho kaise ghoor rahe hai ulle ki tarah

He wakes up early everyday like a cock ... then he eats little bit here and there like a crow ... then he eats breakfast like a monkey ... then he runs to the office like a horse ... then he works like a donkey ... then he comes homes and drinks alcohol like a fish ... then he barks on me like a dog ... then he eats dinner like a crocodile ... then after that he spreads his legs and sleeps like a buffalo ... and now look, he's staring at me like an owl