Jiske seene mein dil nahi usse dil ki bemaari kaise ho sakti hai?

Suna hai lift ki deewaaron ke kaan nahin hote

Main aapko aap kehke bula raha hoon aur aap hai ki seedha tu pe aa gaye ... agar main tu pe aa gaya na toh aapki thu-thu ho jayegi

Maine suna tha police walo ko kabhi ungli nahi karni chahiye ... lekin police wale hamari aisi ungli karenge ... kabhi nahi socha tha yaar

Family na aadmi ko chomu bana deti hai

Hum karte fight aur tu karta bark hai ... abhe fish tank ke machhi hum samundar ke shark hai

Gareebi mein jeena ek kala hai

Hickory dickory aane dock ... hoon karu chhu walk aane aa saaro kare chhe talk

Joh aap kahoge woh karungi ... jahan aap bologe wahan karungi ... jaise aap kahoge waise karungi

Itna gyaan mat baant ki khatam ho jaaye

Sugarfree biscuit jis mein sugar kam hai ... sugar waale biscuit se double mehenga ... slim milk jis mein doodh kam hai ... woh doodh waale milk se zyada mehenga hai ... kam khana zyada khane se expensive ho gaya hai

Masti se jeena hai toh kabhi apna image banne hi mat do ... bada mushkil hota hai dhona

Main deti hoon gareeb bachon ko education ... vidhwa maaon ko inspiration ... aur kunware mardon ko masturbation

Bahar Nana Patekar, andar Amol Palekar!

Plane time par hai, economy ki seat hai ... badlo bhes aur chalo pardes

Meri kundli mein likha tha ki main foreign shift ho jaonga ... yeh nahi pata tha ki main yahin se hi lift ho jaonga

Yahan tel bhi hai, adalaton mein bail bhi hai ... Kashmir aur Taj Mahal ke saath, suna hai Tihar jail bhi hai

Jab mein ek peg peeta hoon na, main kisi ke baap ki nahi sunta ... jab mein do peg peeta hoon, toh main apne aap ki bhi nahi sunta ... jab main teen peg peeta hoon, tab koi bhi mera nahi sunta

Aaj kal toh do hi logon ko kaam milta hai ... joh bahut neeche hai, mazdoori karte hai ... ya toh bahut oonche hai ... is jaise beech waale logon ka haal toh beech waalon jaisa ho gaya hai ... taali bajao aur paisa maango

Zindagi mein kabhi kisi ke saath zaroorat se zyada wafaadari mat karna ... lag jaati hai