Mere naye pilan ke mutabik

Naukri mili hai ... tankha nahi

Bahut jhankaar beat aadmi hai woh

Waqt, mauka, nazaqat, halat ... kuch toh dekh kar aaya karo?

Suna hai lift ki deewaaron ke kaan nahin hote

Dil bhale hi left mein hota hai ... lekin uske faisley hamesha right hote hai

Yeh lo khao ... aur apne bachcho ko bhi khilao ... taki woh hari bhari poty karen

Burgerchaap kahike!

Ye ladki? ... upar upar se, iski packeting phad ke dekho na ... das tagde bande niklenge ander se

Aaj nag panchami hai kya? ... phir yeh saanp ko doodh kyun pila rahe ho?

Iski madad karna toh aisa hai ... ke apne pairon pe axe, black money pe tax aur interval mein hi climax

Pyar shaadi nahi hoti aur shaadi pyar nahi hota ... pyar mein insaan andha, behra, goonga aur bewakoof banke reh jaata hai ... aur shaadi mein kaan, aankh, dimaag sab kuch khul jaata hai

Pyar mein padna is like investing in mutual funds ... hum sabko lagta hai baad mein jab mature hoga na, tab return dega ... joh hum nahi sochte hai woh yeh hai ... ki investing in mutual funds is subject to market risk

Tere spaghetti jaise ghane lambe baal ... olives jaisi kaali kaali, actually not so kaali kaali aankhen ... baby corn jaisi nukeeli naak ... cherry tomatoes jaise laal laal gaal ... sliced bell pepper se bane honth ... jalapeno si teekhi zubaan ... chalti phirti pasta dish ho

Marzi ho toh sooli par chadana ya rab ... sau baar jahannam mein jalana ya rab ... lekin mashooq kahen aap hamare hai buzurg ... na cheez ko yeh din na dikhana ya rab

Shaadi is mind blowing ... sometimes blowing mind

Jab mein ek peg peeta hoon na, main kisi ke baap ki nahi sunta ... jab mein do peg peeta hoon, toh main apne aap ki bhi nahi sunta ... jab main teen peg peeta hoon, tab koi bhi mera nahi sunta

Main toh apna blood samjha tha ... tu toh blood cancer nikla

Isse kehte hai mast chick ... one piece item in two piece bikini

Models sirf tasveeron mein hi achchi dikhti hai ... woh bhi agar maine kheechi ho toh