Pehle unki sirf dosti thi ... lekin ab dostana ho gaya hai

First they were only friends ... but now they've become a gay couple

Choriyon ko jahan bhi proposal ka andesha ho ... unhe do hi jagah nazar aati hai ... courtroom aur washroom ... courtroom se shaadi ho jaati hai aur washroom se azaadi

Wherever girls sense the intention of a proposal ... they only look for two places ... courtroom and washroom ... in the courtroom they can get married and from the washroom they can run away

Pati ek bank balance hota hai, ek tijori hota hai ... jis mein se paise nikaal nikaalkar gehne banwao, sareeyan khareedo, mauj karo mauj ... lekin unka dil rakhne ke liye kabhi unka sar dabao, kabhi unke pair dabao ... haala ki dil toh karta hai ki unka gala dabao, taaki jhanjhat hi khatam

A husband is like a bank balance, like a vault ... from which you remove money and make jewellery, buys sarees, and have fun ... but to keep their heart sometimes we have to massage their head, their legs ... when we wish that we could simply press their neck, so that the problem is over once and for all

Tum saala viagra khane waalon ka yehi problem hai ... shak bahut karte ho

You people who take viagra have this problem ... that you suspect a lot

Pehle maroonga insaan ki tarah ... phir maroonga toofan ki tarah ... and finally maroonga Salman ki tarah

First I'll hit like a human ... then I'll hit like a storm ... and finally I'll hit like Salman

Karte hai washing powder ka vyapar aur bhabhiyon se pyar

He does the business of selling washing powder and he loves married women

Tum middle class logon ki yehi problem hai ... ladki ko bhi local train ka khidki waala seat samajhta hai ... pehla rumaal rakh diya matlab seat tumhari ho gayi?

You middle class people have this problem ... you consider even a girl as if she is a window seat of a train ... where you put a napkin first on the seat then that seat belongs to you?

(Aaise bina saboot ke police kya kar sakti hai?) ... Ghulam Ali ki CD teri jeb mein daalke na ISI ka agent bana sakti hai police ... tumhari photo beauty parlour ke samne kheenchke laundiyon ka dalla bana sakti hai police ... Johnson baby powder aave hai, uski pudiya teri jeb mein daalke na drug ka smuggler bana sakti hai police ... aur toh aur teri shakal police waale se sketch karvake Osama Bin Laden se mila sakti hai police

(What can police do without any evidence?) ... The police can put a CD of Ghulam Ali in your pocket and make you into an ISI ( Inter-Services Intelligence) agent ... the police can take your photo in front of a beauty parlour and can make you into a pimp of girls ... the police can put a packet of Johnson baby powder in your pocket and can make you into a drug smuggler ... and above all the police can have a policeman draw your sketch and match to that of Osama Bin Laden

You're like if Rajinikanth, Jackie Chan ke saath shaadi karta ... aur uska joh beta hota na woh James Bond ke saath shaadi karta ... toh uska joh beta hota na tu usse bhi bada player hota

You're like if Rajinikanth married Jackie Chan ... and if their son married James Bond and if they had a son ... then you'll be an even bigger player than him

Tu na top model banegi pooch kyun ... (kyun?) ... tera top floor khali hai na

You'll become a top model ask me why ... (why?) ... since your top floor (brain) is empty

Mujhse baimaani mat karna main bahut pahuncha hua aadmi hoon ... baimaani mein shaitan ko tuition deta hoon

Don't cheat with me since I'm a very recognized person ... and when it comes to cheating then I give tuitions to the devil

Tan-e-tanha zindagi se bezaar, ek ladki se kiya pyar ... usse mila na iqraar, na bani woh dildar ... bas yeh cigarette hai wafaadar, woh bhi hai baldaar

Bored and alone in life I fell in love with a girl ... she said no and declined my love ... now only this cigarette is loyal and that also is twisted

(Main tera sar phod doongi) ... Arre phod de chahe gaud mein rakh ... ab toh mundi bhi tumhari hai aur munda bhi tumhara

(I'll break your head) ... You may break it or keep it in your lap ... now the head is yours and also the boy

Itte Itte toh cupan the yaaron!

The cups were so small my friends!

Samajh samajhke samajh ko samajho ... samajh samajhna bhi samajh hai ... samajh samajhke joh na samajhe meri samajh mein woh nasamajh hai ... aye nasamajh, nasamajh naa samajh mujhe ... meri samajh teri samajh ke bahar hai ... samajhe?

After thinking and understanding try to understand the thought ... even thinking and understanding is a thought ... the one who doesn't understand even after thinking and understanding is silly in my opinion ... hey you silly, don't think I'm foolish ... my thinking is beyond what you can think ... do you understand that?

Aap toh woh hai joh saare jahan ka khoon peekar bhi pyasa reh jaye ... maut toh kya yamraj ko bhi nighalkar bhooka reh jaye

You're the one who even after drinking blood of the entire world still remains thirsty ... and the one who still remains hungry even swallowing death and the god of death

Hum hai police ki naak ke baal, insaaf ki dhaal, havaldar Bankelal ... chal do rupai nikaal

I'm a hair from police's nose, an armour of justice, I'm Sergeant Bankelal ... now come on give me two rupees

Woh maut bhi kitni haseen hogi ... apne janaze ke paas dus barah kudiyan namkeen hogi

How beautiful will that death be ... when there will be 10 to 12 beautiful girls at my funeral

Save it for the Friday in the theatre ... taali bajegi everyday and later

Save it for the Friday in the theatre ... there will be clapping everyday and later

Hilna nahi ... nahi toh goli maar maarke bina plastic surgery ke tumhara face bighad dega

Don't move ... or else I'll shoot bullets and destroy your face without plastic surgery