Yeh Hindustan ab chup nahi behtega ... yeh naya Hindustan hai ... yeh ghar mein ghusega bhi aur maarega bhi

Pehle mereko yeh samjha ki ... isko samjhana kya hai

Sachchi baat hoti hai na woh sharaab se bhi zyada kadvi lagti hai

Main sab dharmon ka aadhar karta hoon ... aur kisi bhi dharm mein maanta nahin

Pehle toh woh khada tha Gandhi ki tarah ... phir mujhe jhad diya aandhi ki tarah ... aur yeh tumhare pehalwan sab gir gaye maachis ki kaandhi ki tarah

Bread ka baadshah aur omelet ka raja ... Bajaj ... hamara Bajaj

Sunday ko aa ... Sunday ko mast naha do ke aa

Agar subah subah sandaas jana hai toh singer banna padega

Dimaag jitna thanda ... badla utna meetha

Kisi ko maaf kar dena bahut badi baat hoti hai

Joh sacha pyar karte hai woh zindagi bhar ke liye naraaz nahi hote ... kuch derr ke liye rooth jaate hai

Kisi sharif ke kaminepan ko dekhne mein joh mazaa aata hai na ... woh kisi harami ke haramipan mein nahi

Uska toh main aisa hashar karoonga ... ki sunne waalo ki rooh kaanp uthegi

Politics ek gutter hai!

Teja main hoon ... mark idhar hai

Tumhari tarah Mahatma Gandhi bahet gaye hote ghar mein ... biwi biwi beta beta karte huye ... toh tum aaj bhi kisi angrez ke ghar mein latrine saaf kar rahe hote

Main Teja hoon kyun ki mera naam bhi Teja hain

Phatte hue kapde toh sille jaate hai ... lekin gayi hui izzat vapas nahi aati hai

Jua mein jeetne ka koi formula nahi hota ... haan nahi harne ka ek formula hai ... (kya) ... jua mat khelo

To know, that you don't know ... is very important