Jhanda chahe kisi bhi desh da ho ... par danda Hindustani hona chahiye

Hum middle class log hai ... upper class aur lower class ke beech mein sandwich bane huye hai

Gandhi bola hinsa nahi karneka ... koi manaa? ... pistol dikhake bolta na, saale sab maan jaate

Har baar main teri jheel si aankhon mein doob jaata hoon ... lekin is baar nahi, ruk main swimming suit pehen ke aata hoon

Main kya karoon bhole, bhole bam bhole ... jis devi ne madad ka vachan diya, ussi ne haath todhe

Kaun kehta hai bada size sab par bhaari hai ... kabhi machar ke saath ek raat guzari hai

Raat ko barah ki sui ke tarah chipke rehte ho ... aur din me che ki tarah

Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hai na ... woh basement mein kapde badalte hai

Yeh Punjab hai Punjab ... yahan pehle goli marte hai ... phir shayad laash se kuch baat karlein

Main hoon Nandu sabka bandhu

Biwi apne pati ke bina reh sakti hai ... par apni bai ke bina nahi

Saara din woh bandh kamre mein ghutar-gu ghutar-gu ... natija kab milega haan?

Women can fake orgasm ... why the hell can't they fake silence?

Woh kehte hain ki humse, ki tum mujhe yaad nahi karte ... main kehta hoon ki tu jaye toh teri yaad aaye ... tu saali yahan se jati hi nahi hai ... toh yaad kahan se aayegi

Rahul, naam toh yaad rahega na?

Agar tum meri zindagi mein nahi hoti, toh main kya hota? ... bina jeb ki pant hota, bina sole ka juta hota, bina dil ke shareer hota

Tumhara good bhi achcha ... bad bhi achcha

Bachpan se bhaag hi raha hoon ... pehle school se bhaaga ... bhook lagi toh roti churakar bhaaga ... bhai bana toh police se bachkar bhaaga ... jahan behetna tha wahan bhaaga, jahan chalna tha wahan bhaaga ... jahan bhaagna tha wahan kutte ke maafit bhaag hi raha hoon ... apun ki aakhi life bhaagne mein hi nikal gayi

Main roz prarthana karta hoon ... ke mere ghar bhikari aaye, mere badan mein bimari aaye ... par tu kabhi na aaye

Woh aag hi kya joh lag ke badhe nahi, woh nasha hi kya joh sarr pe chadhe nahi ... nahi banta tab tak koi sachcha aashiq, jab tak ishq mein usko do chaar padhe nahi