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Mehmood

# 1
Hum itna din se apply apply aap no reply ... aaj hum apply nahin aaya aap reply
I have been applying since so many days and you never replied ... today I didn't apply and you replied
# 2
Fakira khada dukaan par, maange sabki khair ... na kahu usse dosti, na kahu usse bair
A priest is standing outside the shop, and he wishes welfare of all ... neither friendship nor enmity with anyone at all
# 3
Yeh aap log taaliyan baja rahe hai ... yah rummy ke patte baant rahe hai
Are you guys clapping ... or distributing the cards for rummy
# 4
Kutte aur aadmi ki nasal kaan kheench kar hi pata chalti hai
You can find out the breed of a dog and a man by pulling their ears
# 5
Main bewda us waqt peeta hoon jab mereko gaanja nahi milta ... aur gaanja us waqt peeta hoon jab mereko afeem ki goli nahi milti ... aur goli main us waqt khata hoon jab mereko Campa Cola jaisi bottle waali koi potti na mile
I drink alcohol when I don't get marijuana ... and I take marijuana when I don't get a pill of opium ... and I take a pill of opium when I don't get a girl who has the shape of a Campa Cola bottle
# 6
Agar koi jawan potti jawan potte ko maarengi toh ... potta mar jayenga lekin potte ka dil joh hai fadhakta rahenga ... fatafat-fhat fatafat-fhat
If a young girl hits a young guy ... then the guy will die but his heart will keep on beating ... beating and beating
# 7
Agar ek biwi chali gayi toh doosri biwi mil sakti hai ... chattees saas sasure mil sakte hai ... magar ek sacha dost nahi mil sakta hai
If a wife leaves then you can get another one ... you can get 36 in-laws ... but you can't find a true friend
# 8
Yeh whiskey soda agar aap peeyega ... toh whiskey soda andar aur aapka dum bahar
If you drink whiskey and soda ... then whiskey and soda will go inside and your life will come outside
# 9
Raat bhar anda pakaya, phir bhi woh kacha reh gaya ... mar gaye shayar, lekin ullo-ka-patha reh gaya
I boiled the egg all night but still it was uncooked ... all the poets have died but this fool got left behind
# 10
Khili thi dhoop-e-harsam aur pani barasta tha ... jab tu paida hua toh teri maa roti thi aur baap hasta tha
There was sunlight everywhere and water was flowing ... when you were born your mother was crying and your father was laughing
# 11
Har dam duayen dena, har lamha aahen bharna ... unka bhi kaam karlo aur apna bhi kaam karna
Always give blessings and every moment take a sigh ... do their work and my work as well
# 12
Mere paas car hai lekin main phir bhi bekaar hoon
I have a car but still I'm jobless
# 13
Main all in one hoon ... main driver ka motor hoon ... main coach van ka ghoda hoon ... mail maali ka bhageecha hoon ... main kitchen ka bawarchi hoon
I'm all in one ... I'm a motor of a driver ... I'm a horse of a coach van ... I'm a garden of a gardener ... I'm a cook of a kitchen
# 14
Sookha jungle, geela parbat, jadugar ki kasam ... ek kadam bhi aage aaya, ho jayega bhasam
Dry jungle, wet mountain, and I swear on the magician ... if you come forward even one step then you'll turn into ash
# 15
Moti chachi, lamba chacha jab aayenge home ... patthar jaisa dil dono ka ban jayega maum
When fat aunty and tall uncle will come home ... then their stone like hearts will turn into wax
# 16
Yeh duniya than-than gopal ki hai ... jiske paas rupaiya nahi woh kuch nahi
This world belongs to those who have money ... those who don't have money are nothing
# 17
Jise mile qadardan aaisi sundar ... woh prani hai naseeb ka sikandar
The one who gets such a beautiful appreciator ... that person is very lucky
# 18
Haath kangan ko aarsi kya ... joh Urdu padhe uske liye Farsi kya
Who needs a mirror to see the beauty of an arm band ... the one who can read Urdu can comprehend Persian easily
# 19
Petrol ka bhav badh gaya ... tarkaari ka bhav badh gaya ... tera bhav bhi badh gaya kya?
The price of petrol has gone up ... the price of vegetables has gone up ... has your price also gone up or what?
# 20
Inhe aaisa kadva aadmi hai ki agar ganderi khake thukenga ... toh uspe makkhi bhi nahi behethengi
He is such a bitter person that if he eats sugarcane and spits ... then even a mosquito won't sit on that
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