HIV positive, TB positive, Malaria positive ... yeh medical line na eklauti line hai jismein positive ka matlab bad news hota hai

HIV positive, TB positive, Malaria positive ... the medical field is the only field in which positive means bad news

Science bhi kehta hai ki dil azaad khayal hai ... dhadakne ke liye na toh isse shareer ki zaroorat hai na dimaag ki

Even science says that a heart is independent ... it doesn't need a body nor a mind to beat

Yeh joh auratein hoti hai na, yeh internet ke virus ki tarah hoti hai ... pehle to mard ki life mein enter hoti hai ... phir uske dil aur dimaag ko scan karke ... uski sari khushiyan, uski sari azaadi, uske sare bank balance apne account mein transfer kar leti hai ... aur badle mein mard ke account mein kya download karti hai ... (kya?) ... tension, tadap, ghutan, bechaini, jhik-jhik, bachche ... aur uske chehre ki smile ko delete karke usse hamesha hamesha ke liye hang karke chali jaati hai

Women are like the virus from the internet ... first they enter a man's life ... then after scanning his heart and mind ... the transfer all his happiness, all his freedom, all his bank balance into their account ... and instead of that do you know what do they download in the man's account ... (what?) ... tension, yearning, suffocation, restlessness, fussiness, kids ... and then they leave deleting the smile from his face and hanging him forever

Ek baar mard hang ho gaya toh phir woh female kya ... e-mail ke layak bhi nahi reh jaata

Once a man hangs up then forget a female ... he is not even fit for an e-mail

Opportunity hamesha mujhe poke, mail, spam aur like karti hai ... aur main darwaze pe khada uski khat-khat ki intezar karta raha

Opportunity always pokes, mails, spams and likes me ... but I was waiting on the door for it to knock

Maine tujhe kitni baar salah di hai ... ki apni TV set ke saath ... doosre ke DVD player ko attach kabhi nahi karna chahiye

I have advised you so many times ... that with your TV ... never connect someone else's DVD player

Abhe oye bluetooth period ke floppy disk

Hey you floppy disk of the bluetooth era

Meri biwi toh space mein ghumti us satellite ki tarah hai ... joh chaubeeso ghante mere sar par mandrati hai aur mujhpar nazar rakhti hai

My wife is like a roaming satellite in the space ... who keeps circling on my head 24 hours and keeps a watch on me

Science, vigyaan, ek aisi mashaal joh duniya ko andhere mein rasta dikha sakti hai ... lekin agar galat haathon mein pad jaye toh usse jalakar raakh bhi kar sakti hai

Science is a torch that can show the path to the world in darkness ... but if gets in the wrong hands then it can burn it down into ashes as well

Tera control panel teri biwi ke haath mein hai na ... mera abhi bhi mere hi haath mein hai

Your control panel is in the hands of your wife ... mine is still in my hands

Doctor dawaon se jism ka ilaaj karta hai aur physiatrist dimaag se dimaag ka ... dil ke paas pahunch kar, usse samajh kar, samjha kar

A doctor treats the body with medicines and a physiatrist treats the mind using his mind ... by going close to the heart, by understanding it, by making it understand

Jab kaam ka bhoj badh jaata hai na ... toh dimaag ki wiring mein short circuit ho jaati hai

When the load of work increases ... then the wires of the brain get short circuited

Yeh bhailogy hai bhailogy ... bahut bhari subject hai aur apun iska master

This is the science of rowdyism ... it's a very tough subject and I am a master in it

Oh yaar, bhagwan ne meri zabaan pe backspace kyun nahi lagaya

Oh my friend, why didn't god put a backspace in my mouth

Jab tum log ka dimaag ekdum dial-up ka speed se chalta hai ... toh yeh zubaan ko broadband se chalane ka koi zaroorat nahi hai

When the mind of you guys works at the speed of dial-up ... then there is no need of using your mouth at the speed of broadband

Hamari generation ko khud ki intelligence se zyada artificial intelligence pe bharosa hai ... kyun, kyun ki data kabhi galat nahi hota hai

Today's generation trusts artificial intelligence more than their own intelligence ... why, because data never lies

App ne bola toh soulmate ... app nahi toh checkmate

If the app says then she's your soulmate ... and without the app you're checkmate

Filmy struggler us message ki tarah hai ... jise saala jitna bhi delete karo utna aur zyada aate hai

Film strugglers are like that message ... the more you delete them the more they come back