| Lyrics |
Translation |
| Mujhe yaad hai woh baatein mere bachpan ki | I still remember my childhood days |
| Daddy kehte the khota sikka chalega nahi | My dad used to say I was useless like a fake coin |
| Mummy pyar se khilati daal, chaawal aur dahi | My mom fed me rice, lentils and curd with love |
| Maa ke haathon ka woh jaadu five star mein nahi | The magic of mom's food can't be found in a 5-star hotel |
| Mar marke mili college degree | I barely got a college degree |
| Meri job ek tragedy, hai joke salary | My job is a tragedy, my salary is a joke |
| Ek ladki mili thi woh bhi dump kar gayi | I had found a girl but she also dumped me |
| Dump hone ko baitha hoon koi mile toh sahi | I'm just sitting here ready to get dumped again |
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| O ho banda seedha rab da main | I'm a straightforward man of God |
| Ditto tere warga main | I'm just like you are |
| Kaam ghalat koi karda te | If someone does something evil |
| Phir na usko chhadta main | Then I don't spare them |
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| Kisi ladki ko chhede koi | If you'll tease a girl |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Kare cheating aur khele koi | If you cheat and play |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Mere India ko bura kaha | If you call my India as bad |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Jana Gana pe na khada hua | If you don't stand for the national anthem |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Toh dishoom, toh dishoom, toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
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| Bathroom mein Kishore-da ke gaane gaata hoon | I sing Kishore Kumar songs in the bathroom |
| Katy Perry ki mein photo sang leke nahata hoon | I shower with a photo of Katy Perry |
| Mere aaju baaju bikini mein babes nachdi | Babes in bikini dance near me |
| But life koi Honey Singh ka video nahi | But life is not a Honey Singh's video |
| Din ko main chahe jitna bhi hero hota hoon | No matter how big a hero I am during the day |
| Raat ko takiye ki jhappi leke sota hoon | In the night I sleep hugging a pillow |
| Kabhi kabhi kisi party mein zyada ho gayi | If I get high in a party |
| Toh yaad karke purani baatein khoob rota hoon | Then I remember the old days and cry a lot |
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| O ho banda seedha rab da main | I'm a straightforward man of God |
| Ditto tere warga main | I'm just like you are |
| Ek waari hath phad laan taan | If I catch hold of a hand once |
| Phir kadi nahi chhadta main | Then I never let it go |
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| Ram Rahim ladaye koi | If you make people fight for religion |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Chote bachon ko daraye koi | If you scare small children |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Nasha karke joh aaye koi | If you take drugs |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Mere bhai ko sataye koi | If you trouble my brother |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Toh dishoom, toh dishoom, toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
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| Kabhi na karoon main kaam koi aisa | I'll never do something |
| Ke jis se jhuke meri gardan | Which will make my head bow down |
| Jeeta hoon, jeeta hoon, papa se seekha hoon | I've learnt from my dad to live life |
| Mujhpe kuch hai burden, jaise hardam | There is like always a burden on me |
| Ghar chalana hai jaise ya taise | We have to run the house no matter what |
| Chote sapno ke liye jodhon paise kaise kaise | I collected money for my small dreams |
| Arre kaise kaise kaam kare taaki naam bane | I did all kinds of work to become famous |
| Duniya dekh ke mujhko bhaijaan ram ram kare | The world respects me when they see me |
| Par dhyan rahe mujhko kabhi na chhedna | But remember, don't you ever tease me |
| Dene mein ik dishoom mujhko lagegi der na | I won't hesitate to smash a punch |
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|
| O ho banda seedha rab da main | I'm a straightforward man of God |
| Ditto tere warga main | I'm just like you are |
| Kaam ghalat koi karda te | If someone does something evil |
| Phir na usko chhadta main | Then I don't spare them |
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| Khud apni badhai kari | If you praise yourself |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Ratta maar ke padhai kari | If you simply mug up and learn |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Rishwat leke kaam kiya | If you take a bribe |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Raste pe traffic jam kiya | If you cause a traffic jam on the road |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Public bhadkaye koi | If you provoke people |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Meri bandi ko pataaye koi | If you hit on my girlfriend |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Chalu picture mein phone baja | If your phone rings in a movie |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Gaana sunke na aaya mazaa | If you listen to the song and don't like it |
| Toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
| Toh dishoom, toh dishoom, toh dishoom | Then I'll punch you |
