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Kartik Tiwari


Kartik Tiwari
Kartik Tiwari
6577
Kartik Tiwari in Akaash Vani
Woh aaj humse mile anjaano ki tarah ... hum yunhi raah take baithe the deewanon ki tarah ... har nigaah mein aur door chale jaate hai ... humse nazar churate hai baimaanon ki tarah ... hum yunhi raah take baithe the deewanon ki tarah
English Translation
She met me today like a stranger ... I was waiting for her like crazy ... in every sight she kept going farther away ... she was avoiding me with dishonesty ... I was waiting for her like crazy
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Hit62      Flop14
#1
6578
Kartik Tiwari in Akaash Vani
Woh kehte hain kabhi aur, kabhi aur hota nahi ... dil bhi toh nadan unke sivah kahin aur khota nahi ... hum mangte hai ek saans, ek dhadkan, ek nigaah ... woh kabhi aur de jaate hai ... par yeh kambakht kabhi aur, kabhi aur hota nahi
English Translation
She says sometime else, but that sometime never comes ... even my silly heart doesn't go anywhere else other than her ... I ask for one breathe, one heartbeat, one sight ... but this crazy sometime else never comes
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Hit55      Flop12
#2
6571
Kartik Tiwari in Akaash Vani
Tum kya leke aaye the, kya leke jaoge ... nange chale aaye the, nange hi chale jaoge
English Translation
What did you get and what will you take with you ... you had come naked and you'll go naked
Hit36      Flop4
#3
6574
Kartik Tiwari in Akaash Vani
Teri zulfon se chanti aati bulb ki roshni ko dekh aaisa laga ... jaise kisi jharoke se chaand jhaank raha ho
English Translation
Looking at the filtered light of the bulb coming from your hair it feels as if ... the moon is peeping from some window
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Hit37      Flop9
#4
6569
Kartik Tiwari in Akaash Vani
Raat kitni hi bhayanak kyun na ho ... subah zaroor hoti hai
English Translation
No matter how dangerous the night is ... the morning definitely comes
Hit33      Flop6
#5
869
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama
In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta ... a happy woman is a myth!
English Translation
No one can keep a girl happy ... a happy woman is a myth!
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Hit53      Flop29
#6
6573
Kartik Tiwari in Akaash Vani
Honeymoon is a three letter word ... S-E-X
English Translation
Honeymoon is a three letter word ... S-E-X
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Hit25      Flop8
#7
10642
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama
Behind every successful man there is a woman ... true ... but koi yeh nahi batata ki behind every unsuccessful man also there is a woman
English Translation
Behind every successful man there is a woman ... true ... but no one tells you that behind every unsuccessful man also there is a woman
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Hit19      Flop4
#8
10645
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama
Ab pata chala yeh aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyun aate hai aur yeh gay bandhe itne successful kyun hote hai ... because they don't have a woman to screw their happiness na
English Translation
Now I came to know why so many men get heart attacks and why these gay people are so successful ... because they don't have a woman to screw their happiness
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Hit16      Flop3
#9
11420
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Shaadi shuda aadmi hamesha office ke liye late kyun ho rahe hote hai ... kyun ki joh time pe uthte hai woh baat karne mein late ho jaate hai ... aur joh samajhdar hai woh uthte hi late hai ... ki saala utho, tayaar ho aur bhaago
English Translation
Why do married men are always running late for office ... because those who get up on time become late by talking ... and those who are smart get up late itself ... so that you get up, get ready and run
Hit17      Flop5
#10
11418
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Har ladki ki life mein ek umar aati hai jab usse realise hota hai ki ab uski life ... ek driver, ek bodyguard, ek naukar aur ek ATM ke bina nahi chal sakti ... aur ab ladki itna sab kuch toh afford kar sakti nahi na ... toh ladkiyan dhoondti hai boyfriend
English Translation
In every girl's life there comes a moment when she realises that now her life ... will not work without a driver, a bodyguard, a servant and an ATM machine ... and since every girl can't afford all of this ... that's why girls look for a boyfriend
Hit25      Flop13
#11
10641
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama
Saali shopping khatam nahi hoti inki ... pehle cushions aaye, phir curtains aaye ... phir cushions curtains se match nahi kiye toh aur cushions aaye ... saale mug itne hai mere yahan ki unhe bechne jaon toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye
English Translation
Bloody their shopping never ends ... first the cushions came, then the curtains came ... then the cushions did not match the curtains so more cushions came ... bloody I have so many mugs at my place that if I go to sell them then it will cover a full month's expenses
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Hit12      Flop2
#12
11417
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Bribe is an institution started by women ... kyun ki inke pass joh dene ko rishvat hai woh kabhi khatam nahi hone waali ... aur hum saale rishvatkhor apni maraaye jaa rahe hai ... isse toh acha hai saala apne haath se hi shaadi karlo
English Translation
Bribe is an institution started by women ... because what they have to offer as a bribe is never ending ... and we dumb people who accept their bribe are getting screwed ... better than that would be to marry our hands
Hit13      Flop4
#13
10644
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama
Do hafte dimaag chatengi table lena hai, table lena hai ... paanch ghante mall mein bitaake ek sadi si chappal uthake le aayengi ... aur phir agle do hafte dimaag chatengi table lena hai, table lena hai
English Translation
For two weeks they will fry your brain that we need to buy a table, we need to buy a table ... and after spending five hours in the mall they will bring back an ugly pair of slippers ... and again for the next two weeks they will fry your brain that we need to buy a table, we need to buy a table
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Hit11      Flop2
#14
11419
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Har ladki ka siyapa hai ki I love surprises ... jab ki asal baat yeh hai ki women hate surprises ... they just love the opportunity to pretend to be surprised
English Translation
Every woman claims that they love surprises ... but the reality is that women hate surprises ... they just love the opportunity to pretend to be surprised
Hit25      Flop17
#15
11408
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Aaisa kabhi nahi hoga ki tum do lakh kama rahe ho ... aur woh maa baap ke pressure mein pachaas hazar waale se shaadi karle
English Translation
This will never happen where you're making 200,000 ... and under pressure from her parents she marries someone who makes only 50,000
Hit15      Flop7
#16
11407
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Shaadi mein sabse important cheez kya hoti hai ... maang bharna ... aur aadmiyon ka toh kaam hi hai aurat ki har maang bharna
English Translation
What's the most important thing in a marriage ... to fill vermilion in a women's hair parting ... and it's the duty of men to fulfill every desire of women
Hit26      Flop18
#17
11414
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Tum meri maa ko manipulative bolo ... koi tension nahi ... maine tumhari maa ko zara sa touchy ka bol diya ... itni touch ho jaati hai ki, by god hafton tak touch karne ko na mile
English Translation
She can call my mom manipulative ... there is no issue ... but if I call her mom just touchy ... then she gets so touched that, by god I don't get to touch her for weeks
Hit22      Flop15
#18
11409
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Woh tumhare maa baap ke baare mein kuch bhi bol le ... koi tension nahi ... tum unke maa baap ke baare mein zara si ek line bol do ... toh 3rd aur 4th world war dono ek saath ho jayenge
English Translation
She can say anything against your parents ... there is no issue ... but if you say even one line against her parents ... then the 3rd and 4th world war, both will start together
Hit19      Flop12
#19
11411
Kartik Tiwari in Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2
Har aadmi ka fundamental right hai hugte hue sochna
English Translation
It's the fundamental right of every man to think while he is doing potty
Hit8      Flop5
#20
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