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Javed Jaffrey

# 1
(Kahan tak padhe ho tum?) ... Dus bajhe tak ... nau bajhe school shuru hua ... jab ek ghanta ho gaya toh principal sahab samajh gaye ... ki ghanta main kuch padh sakta hoon
(You've studied till where?) ... Until 10 o'clock ... 9 o'clock the school started ... when one hour was over then the principal understood that I could hardly study nothing
# 2
Kya udibaba udibaba ... chalti to hai nahi ... udibaba udibaba
What udibaba udibaba ... this can't move ... and you're talking about flying
# 3
Rehna hai raho, jaana hai jao ... I don't give a crocodile's ass
Stay or leave, it's your wish ... I don't give a crocodile's ass
# 4
Maan na maan ... no mehmaan
Whether you accept it or not ... I want no guests
# 5
Death and shit wait for no man ... they come anywhere anytime
Death and shit wait for no man ... they come anywhere anytime
# 6
Yeh koi Hindustani sulabh shauchalay nahi ... jahan bandh hone waali cheez khulti nahi aur khulne waali cheez bandh nahi hoti
This is not an Indian toliet ... where the thing that is supposed to close does not open and the thing that is supposed to open does not close
# 7
Jab do haathon se taali baj rahi ho, toh beech mein mooh nahi gusedhte bachche ... ungliyan chap sakti hai gaalon pe
When someone is clapping with two hands, then you should not push your face in between ... the impression of fingers will get drawn on your cheeks
# 8
I don't the trust Indians ... (sorry) ... eggjactly
I don't trust the Indians ... (sorry) ... exactly
# 9
Kya main ek phool ki tarah khoobsurat ladki ko ek ... ladki ki tarah khoobsurat phool de sakta hoon
To a girl beautiful as a flower, can I give one ... flower beautiful as a girl
# 10
Boss apun haath pair todta hai ... lekin vishvas nahi todta hai
I do break hands and legs ... but I don't break someones trust
# 11
Kya nahi hai mere paas? ... dekhne mein hero body hai fit, jahan bhi main niklon main superhit ... manner mein style hai, killer sa smile hai, rehta hoon tip-top, niklon toh traffic stop ... society ki shaan hoon, party ki jaan hoon, dancer hoon, dashing fighter hoon, smashing jaanta hoon, heart lover hoon fantastic
What is it that I don't have? ... in looks I have a fit hero body, I'm super hit wherever I go ... I have style in my manners, I have a killer smile, I stay tip-top, there is a traffic stop when I go out ... I'm the pride of the society, I'm the life of a party, I'm a dancer, I'm a dashing fighter, I know how to smash, and I'm a fantastic lover of the heart
# 12
Ek baar main sauda kar leta hoon toh paise vapas nahi leta
Once I make a deal then I don't take the money back
# 13
When in the Rome ... do the Romans
When in Rome ... do as the Romans do
# 14
New York mein jabhi bhi koi sapna tootta hai na ... toh ek taxi driver paida hota hai
In New York whenever a dream breaks ... then a taxi driver is born
# 15
Hum Kabir ka iphone, uska ipod, uski item ... sab cheen lenge ... i-shapath
We will steal Kabir's iphone, ipod, girlfriend ... everything ... I swear on my mother
# 16
Funny guy, senses of humor ... I like that
Funny guy, good sense of humor ... I like that
# 17
Wife working ... husband jerking
Wife working ... husband jerking
# 18
Tum logon ne toh mujhe diya nahi bhav ... mere dil mein ho gaya ghav ... uske baad mujhe aa gaya tav
You guys didn't give me the importance ... hence my heart got wounded ... and then I got angry
# 19
Laaton ke bhoot baaton se nahi maante ... "Ghosts of the kicks not listening to the talks"
People who can only understand the language of beatings cannot be counselled by words
# 20
East or west never rest until you find the best
East or west never rest until you find the best
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